Trust Love Faith

This old gal…

Ran some errands in new town…all by herself…this husband of mine…busy painting the garage…wished me well…and waved good-bye…

Sat at the stop sign for quite some time…waiting for traffic…turned right finally…and in the rear view mirror…saw a car…looking like my Mr.’s…turn left at the sign…going relatively fast…

And there it was…that gut bomb…almost eradicated…during these ten years together…not easy at first…each of us needing transparency…each of us learning to trust again…

Gut Bomb Me instinctively panicked…is that him…where would he be going…who would he be meeting…Rational Me tsk tsking…he loves you…he’s loyal to you…and he would never drive that fast…even if he was in a hurry to meet someone else…

Still…Gut Bomb Me drove around the block…just to check and make sure…because to love…is to trust…and to trust…is to feel safe…

When you’ve lived life’s circus…know the challenge of telling reality from show…seen trust shattered and the safety net disappear…that little niggling of fear…can pop up out of the blue…even some 15 years later…and make you wobble…just a little bit…up on that wire…hoping not to fall again…and get hurt…

But Gut Bomb was just a ghost…from the past…cuz the car was in the drive…the paintbrush still doing its thing…and this old gal’s faith in love…

Renewed…once again…
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And this husband of mine…would agree…