Sometimes It Can Be Just As Simple As That

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This old gal…

Has aways been one…to search for answers…why does that daughter of mine have MS…how can we better control diabetes…what was it…that made that mother of mine…tick…read books…lots of books…on mental health issues…narcissism…borderline personality disorder…walking on egg shells…the codependent adult…dysthymia…learned lots…saw connections…could see some patterns…but none of them clicked…not really…until now…

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents…just finished it…Emotionally Immature Parents…interesting term…laughable almost…but there she was…that mother of mine…on page 71…described almost word for word…like the author Lindsay Gibson was tagging along with little me 55 years ago…seeing what she saw…feeling…what…she…felt…

And lookie here…there’s this old gal…a few chapters later…the fixer…the soother…the if I just love these people enough…they will be happy…but bless Lindsay’s heart…searching me found what she was looking for…those words…took all of those me’s…little…teen…grown up…old…by the hand and said…no matter how hard you work…no matter how much you care…no matter how much you love…you cannot…make these people…happy…

This…has been the chain…the albatross…the weight…of all those struggles…all that hurt…all those questions…why…why were the efforts of caring loving me…never…enough…because…emotionally immature people…don’t want to change…searching me denied this…fought this…and deemed herself a failure…because of this…

But freedom is coming…baby steps…forget the blame…and see things…from a new perspective…or maybe…take a lesson from that husband of mine…no fancy educational letters behind his name…just wisdom…old man wisdom gained from life…

Sometimes Honey…he says…some people are just jerks…no matter what you do…or how hard you try…they are still…going to be jerks…
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And this old gal…just might agree…