It's Never Too Late To Search For Answers

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This husband of mine…

Held out a bottle of Squirt…look what I found…he said…I haven’t seen Squirt…in forever…and neither…had this old gal…

Little me…and those brothers of hers…sitting at a bar…drinking Squirt…while her dad drank a Schlitz with friends…little me…and those brothers of hers…sitting at a counter…sipping Squirt…while that dad of mine cleaned …tables…ashtrays…glasses…preparing for a dance at the American Legion…where he worked…

Don’t ever remember life as a family…left when little me was 3…got together three times a year…a week in the summer…a weekend during Thanksgiving…one day…at Christmas…on sleepovers…always stayed with Grandma and Grandpa…in a cute cabin home…near a river…this man we called dad…would sleep in the spare room…in the attic…

He was quiet…and big…like giant big…like stand on the scale with little me watching the numbers go as far as they could go til becoming only slashes…big…

Little girl memories…fishing in hidden ponds…floating in a row boat checking lines in the river…walking on sandbars…carefully picking crawdads out of the seine…trying not to get stung…

Little me memories…Grandma…the cook…Grandpa…the nurturer…that man we called dad…quiet…kind…big…loved to fish…and drink Schlitz…

Today…little me…older…wiser…more aware…those memories of those people who were loved…remain the same…Grandma…the cook…Grandpa…the nurturer…

But that man we called dad…who he was…really really was…remains…a mystery…
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And little me…would probably…agree…