​This daughter of mine…

Asked a simple question…Mom…she said…which toilet paper do you use…which should require…a simple answer…blue Cottonelle…of course…but no…mama me knew…there was more to this than meets the eye…that this seemingly innocuous query…shall require a long drawn out explanation…with perhaps…some demonstration included…

For you see…the toilet paper situation…in the Little Cottage bathroom…is rather complicated…kind of like a fun park house of mirrors…paper here…paper there…paper paper everywhere…remember that husband of mine…suggesting a toilet paper stand…says when the back hurts…the twist to retrieve…is just too painful…

So…there’s paper to the left of us…paper to the front…an extra loose one…sitting on the top…the question being…which one…are you supposed…to use…did a closed toilet lid fully clothed demonstration…a twist with a bad back…no can do…could pull from the stand roll…but this old gal…prefers the stand alone roll on top…however…the ultimate choice…is yours…

And so it is in life…what may seem obvious to one…may not be so…to another…ask…inquire…question…avoid misunderstandings…avoid conflict…the roll is in your court…

The ultimate choice…is yours…
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And that daughter of mine…agrees…

This old gal…

Enjoys hosting…a rowdy game of Thanksgiving Bingo…love the search for quirky prizes…prizes that scream out…so and so would love this…brings back memories…of Christmas Days gone by…that mother of mine…and her family…always gathered around the table…for a raucous game…of Yahtzee…

It was the thing…every Christmas…for as long as this old gal can remember…little me…thought it looked like so much fun…little me…always wished…she could play…but the game was reserved…for adults…only…

And so it was…those daughters of mine…the last day of their stay…tired after a long week…an early take off the next morning…still insisted…on a family game…of Yahtzee…and it was raucous…just like the olden days…and it was fun…like it looked…in the olden days…Ginger for the win…her mama…the biggest loser…DC Gal rolling a Yahtzee…on her very…last…roll…

And so…here we are again…with traditions…bringing in some new…carrying on…with the old…this old gal didn’t think she cared…if they happened or not…but she…was wrong…very very wrong…
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And those daughters of mine…agreed…

This family of mine…

Can go from serious to silly…in the snap of a finger…it doesn’t matter what it is…or where we are…something…someone…somehow…finds a way to break the frame…can’t even use the word…seriously seriously…it’s always said…serious…slaw…as in…I mean it…seriouslaw…

Remembered to request family photos…and what do we get…first try…DC gal pulls that camera shy husband of mine into the fun…decides the photo shoot…will take place…in hideous old man chair…seriouslaw…and so it went…recline…snap…say cheese…snap…say queso…snap…make a dog pile…snap snap snap…

Attempt number two…last night together…ordered carry out pizza…handed that phone to the lady on the end…and any sense of seriousness…went out the window…but gotta say…these photos…are the favorite…the silent still shot…where you can hear…the laughter…where you can feel…the joy…where you can see…the love…

This is family…this is together…this…is…and always has been…us…seriouslaw…
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And those daughters of mine…agree…

This old gal…

Had a flashback…almost a year to the day…DC Gal and that husband of hers…enjoying some quality time with their favorite old people…hanging in the kitchen…taking a few photos…snacking on party mix…enjoying those delicious sugar cookies…when that tiny dancer of mine…strikes a dancing pose…

Just like that sister of hers did…exactly…one year ago…points…spins…twirls…just like that sister of hers did…exactly…one year ago…trying again…nailing it…laughing…just like that sister of hers did…exactly…one year ago…

These ladies of mine…so different…yet…so alike…all tiny dancers…all loving to perform…but each excelling…in their own way…each finding…what makes them…happy…

And so it is…these moments in the Little Cottage kitchen…these flashbacks…these heartwarming memories…it doesn’t matter…how much time goes by…dance mom me…will always see…those tiny dancers…in those grown up girls of hers…and continue to be proud…as they take life’s stage…and perform life’s dance…with integrity…and grace…
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And that husband of mine…agrees…

That middle daughter of mine…

Is not into social media…doesn’t post…doesn’t scroll…doesn’t follow trends…but when she does…it’s often…for something clever…with her…it’s the unexpected…the caught by surprise…the I didn’t see that coming…that makes it extra delightful…

And so it was…earlier in the week before the arrival of those sisters of hers…DC Gal…looking through the goodies in her baby box…found her middle school…fuzzy…rainbow…diary…scrolled through the entries…and there…hidden in the pages…was an old fashioned kind of post…written by her then 12 year old sister…when DC Gal was in high school…and rainbow fuzzy diary…had long been forgotten…

A note…saying hello…a note…secretly hiding for all these many years…a note…written there…to someday…somewhere…make…someone smile…and that someday…was now…that somewhere…was here…and more than smile…we did…

Twelve year old Smidge…had no idea…the impact those words would have down the road…just like we never know…the impact our words can have…today…tomorrow…13 years from now…

Choose wisely…those words you want left behind…the messages you want received…those actions…you want…remembered…and do your best…to make someone…some day…somewhere…smile…
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And those daughters of mine…agree…

This old gal…

Encouraged a family picture…during the Thanksgiving festivities…had a fun little photo shoot…on the steps outside…always love the goofiness that occurs…as those ladies of mine pose and snap…laugh…click…duck face…click…giggle…click…pull mom in…click click click…

But that photo..with that mother of theirs…made this old gal…take pause…that outfit…the hair…the booties and old people walking shoes…had obviously dressed down…for the ladies’ visit…didn’t think about…how this old gal looked…

But that photo…the pose…the clothes…the light…the angle…not manipulated…was more enlightening…than need be…this squishy blobby bodied old gal…did not look like the old gal…in her head…and…not gonna lie…it kind of stung a bit…but like those baked beans of mine…this old gal…has been around a long time…and like that recipe card…with those baked beans ingredients…we can sometimes look…a little worse for wear…

But it doesn’t take much…a little of this…a little of that…a tweak here…a tweak there…a better outfit…a new note card…to feel refreshed…to feel confident…to feel…pretty…again…
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And that baked bean recipe of mine…agrees…

This old gal…

Has got to tell you about…baked beans…not just any…baked beans…but magical baked beans…not the kind that grow to the skies…or the magical fruit that…well they do kind of do that…but magical in the sense…your taste buds…will be…in Heaven…

That mother of mine…made these many times a year…young me carrying on the tradition…sometimes throwing in hotdogs…and adding cornbread…as a side…these beans…bake forever…and get gooey…sticky…caramelized…so amazingly unique…that that daughter of mine…will eat the leftovers…for days…

Had a school potluck once…out at a lake…young me pretty much right out of college…bragged about bringing the best baked beans on the planet…and was mocked…by one of the men on staff…come picnic day…everyone got their food…and what to my wondering ears do I hear…omg…these beans are delicious…who made these beans…I need the recipe…surprised words from the mouth…of the mocker…

And so…my friends…these beans…must be recognized…celebrated…the beloved secret recipe…no longer…kept secret…Baked Beans…little me…young me…mama me…thanks you…for always being there…holidays…ham days…even Beanie Wienie days…

Magical beans of mine…know…that you…are loved…
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And those daughters of mine…agree…

This old gal…

When it comes to holiday food traditions…is the first to admit…she’s probably not known for anything special…you know like…Grandma Ruth’s famous mashed potatoes…Grandma Em’s cherry kolaches…those delicious baked beans…of that mother of mine…

It’s laughable…but for some reason…62 year old me…feels too young…to be the person with the yearned for yummy foods…most of the adult life…was always lucky enough…to be invited to celebrate at someone else’s table…got to eat…their family treasures…

And so it is…this year…took the easy route…catered the turkey…tators…gravy and dressing…used the extra time…to make some personal favorites…party mix…green bean casserole…delicious cut out cookies…little baby pumpkin breads…and caramelized…baked beans…been making them for years…

And there it was…the realization that this…is tradition…making those tasty goodies…you know…will make that family of yours smile…the ones they talk about…the ones…they request…the ones…they will one day make…like their mama made…when they are a young 62…like her…
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And those daughters of mine…agree…

This old gal…

Was offered the possibility…of a summer job…that sweet new teacher friend of mine…organizes and orchestrates student field trips…for a historical site nearby…needs presenters…to share the info…and work with kids…said after seeing me work with the students…this old gal…might fit right in…

Little did she know…that this offer…was kind of like answering a prayer…young me…set goals throughout her life…have a successful marriage…have a rewarding career…be the best mom…ever…feel good about those…check them off the list…but two goals…have remained unrealized…one…to publish a book…and two…be a presenter of some sort…

Never knew of what exactly…reading research…educational ideas…health and fitness…it just never came to fruition…but now…here we are…combining presenting…with kids…this…was not a coincidence…braving that second day of teaching…was meant to be…meeting my new friend…was meant to be…

Someone knows…your heart’s desire…and Someone is always there…guiding you…leading you…and in this case…dragging you…

Where you need to be…
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And this husband of mine…agrees…

​This old gal…

Is shocked at how 36 years of teaching confidence…can be null and voided…by one Friday the 13th freak out of control event…panic set in thinking about going again on Monday…fear of being reassigned…fear of the unknown…fear…of being a failure…

Had a day to back out…just a click on the app would do the trick…but not going…would admit defeat…not going…would mean being a quitter…not going…would end this beloved teaching career…in an ugly way…

And so…this old gal put her big girl panties on…and showed up at the school…bright and early Monday morning…and the day…was perfect…a 180 from that freaky Friday…had hall duty…worked with little readers…made a sweet new reading teacher friend along the way…felt…like teacher me again…

And so it is…fear…can rear its ugly head when you least expect it…panic…can rip confidence…to shreds…but strength can be found…in reaching out…if not for those daughters of mine…answering frenzied texts all weekend…that husband of mine…saying it would be ok…this old gal…may have just…succumbed…

And missed out…on getting to do…what she’s missed most…
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And that family of mine…agrees…