This old gal…

Went on a birthday visit…the annual birthday visit…the annual sleepover birthday visit with that middle daughter of mine…

Haven’t seen her since last year…mama me so excited…that birthday girl excited too…had an itinerary packed to the gills…

Learned about her new job…did some shopping…had brunch…did more shopping…went to a soccer game…the farmer’s market…hit up the Husker Book Store…and shopped a little more…

A nonstop on the go weekend full of fun…glorious fun with a young lady that seemed to know someone everywhere we went…

Some-ones who were all excited to see her…current students…former students…Jimmy John’s order guy…calling out…giving hugs…saying she’s their favorite teacher in the whole wide world…

Spent our last night together decorating that office of hers…going for unique…empowering…fun she says…her goal to make a room full of sunshine…

But it was clear…after that weekend of adventures…that no poster…no Lego sculpture…no Funshine bear or cheery mug is really needed for that room of sunshine…

Because that girl of mine…IS the sunshine…a ray of sunshine who brightens every room with that brilliant sparkly personality of hers…

So shine on…beautiful birthday girl…today we celebrate you!! May your day be filled with joy and all things that make you smile…
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And this husband of mine…agrees…

This old gal…

Always feels a pang when she thinks about that dog on the farm…the farm dog…fox terrier…black and white…gifter of the dead rat at the end of the sidewalk…

His name was Eddie…got him as a pup when those girls of mine were little…that dad of theirs grew up on the farm…wanted a farm dog…

And that’s where he stayed…outside on the farm…lived in the shed…ran around…chased squirrels…and was pretty much ignored by city slicker me…

And looking back…there’s shame…and confusion…and wonder as to why…why were we not best friends…why didn’t city slicker me pet him…let him inside…bond with him…

Can’t remember really…a busy mom with three little girls…full time job…maybe there wasn’t time…maybe there wasn’t the energy…maybe he just wasn’t interested…

But today…20 years later…there is regret…

And so it is…in life…those pangs we feel for things we’ve done in the past…the snub…the betrayal of a best friend…refusing to pet the dirty barn dog…

Acknowledge them…embrace them…admit that you’ve grown and if you had a chance to do it over again…you’d do it differently…

Forgive yourself…forgive others…and pray for them to forgive you too…
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And that husband of mine…agrees…

Mama me…

Started a birth day journal when her babies were born…saying hello…glad you’re here…let’s get this party started…

Filled those pages with firsts…favorites….anecdotes…years of words…endearing…humorous…words to look back on…words to show those ladies how much they were adored…

Came across the books recently…sat down and read a bit…brought back memories…made an old gal smile…then noticed something odd…sad really…

Reading along…those stories…those little girls’ lives in words…suddenly stopped…no warning…no wrap up…that youngest daughter of mine didn’t even make it to kindergarten…

Because life got too crazy…too hectic…too much to handle for a mother of three…

But her words…four year old little her words scribbled on a note to be immortalized later…hit home…

If this old gal had a flower…a wish flower…she’d go back in time and tell mama me it’s ok…you don’t have to do it all…those kids of yours don’t have to do it all…

Quality over quantity…keep it simple…enjoy life…enjoy each other…slow down and you’ll have time…to write that story…
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And those daughters of mine…agree…

This old gal…

Is a ponderer…a muser…a wonder why-er…

Remember back in the day young me working at the pizza place counter…taking money from older folks…wondering how they got those big cuts on their arms…

And years later the obvious answer is…they have no idea…that old skin so paper thin…any little thing can cause a ding…

Kind of fell down the pondering rabbit hole…obsessing almost…that husband of mine listening patiently as one of us rattles on…

I wonder…as you age…why skin gets so thin…knuckles swell up…tinnitus is out of control…you can’t walk…you can’t bend…you can’t pee…you can’t see…

And then what to my wondering eyes should appear…as if the universe was listening…an article online…breaking down the intricacies of aging…

Loss of this…loss of that…dysfunctional this…unstable that…not to mention a thing called zombie cells…

And so it is…for once..pondering me realized there are just some things you don’t need to know…things that don’t need pondered…things that really don’t matter…

And so it is…in life…change the things you can change…otherwise…let it go…

Let it go…let it go…let it go…
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And that patient husband of mine…agrees…

This old gal…

Was headed out of town and saw not one but two brown wooly caterpillars wriggling their way across the highway..

Called out silently…go back wooly caterpillars, go back…but they just kept forging ahead oblivious of the dangers…

Made a game of it back in the day…an I spy wooly caterpillar game…four gals in the car driving to and fro…why did the wooly caterpillar cross the road?…so we could count them…

And it was fun…ridiculously fun…calling out…pointing…laughing…trying to beat the score from the day before…

Noticed a mom and her child in Hobby Lobby recently…the boy so well behaved…couldn’t have been more than 2 or 3…sat in the cart while shopping…didn’t move…didn’t say a peep…

Then realized he was wearing headphones…glued to a show on a small device…and it made an old gal think…

About those daughters of hers…about those wooly caterpillar days…those are the things that tug at the heart…those are the things a mama misses…

The interactions…the experiences…the simple every day fun…

And so it is…that thing we call technology…lift your head…get outside…take a friend…laugh…have fun…make memories…

And while you’re at it…don’t forget to look for the brown wooly caterpillar…
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And those daughters of mine…agree…

That doctor of mine said…

It’s just old age, Honey…referring to that MRI…those speckles found in the supra glio something…somewhere in the brain…probably why one of us has issues with uh…remembering uh…like uh…names and stuff…

And ok she didn’t really say honey…she did say old age tho…the honey part we leave for that husband of mine…wise guy that he is…wise guy or wise man?..sometimes both…

Who replies to every random complaint uttered by that wife of his with…it’s just old age, Honey…frozen shoulder…swollen knuckles…arthritis…can’t sleep…night sweats…can’t remember uh…words…

Just old age, Honey…

Report said nothing remarkable was found in this old brain of mine…not sure how to feel about that…always felt this noggin was quite remarkable…lots of remarkable things swirling around in there…

But apparently not…which is fine…more than fine…

And so we continue to search for answers for the wobblies…brain fog weird symptoms going on…off to an ENT…see what kind of spider webs are lurking in those lovely crevices…

And talk about those allergies…which are so much worse than they used to be…to which…wise doctor that he is will more than likely respond with…

It’s just old age, Honey…
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And that husband of mine…will most certainly agree…

That daughter of mine…

Ever since she was tiny…ok she still IS tiny…how about ever since she was little…no…she still IS little…let’s go with ever since she was young…like younger than now…kid young…

Ever since then…has been obsessed with vinegar…loves vinegar…those vinegar bottles at Long John Silver’s…salt and vinegar chips…pickled ham…

And pickles…just plain old dill pickles…ate them as a side dish…ate them as a bedtime snack…ate them when she had the stomach flu…

And who would have guessed 25 years later…pickles are all the rage…pickleball…pickle clubs…pickle parties…pack your own pickled veggies at the farmer’s market…

And sometimes…mama me misses that girl who loves pickles…especially on days when that girl who loves pickles is missing her mama…

Would give anything to zip out East…wrap her up and hug her tight like a big old pickle wrap…tell her how special she is…what a big dill she is…how much she is loved…

Because sometimes you just miss your people…and your people miss you…those miles creating such distance…but deep in our hearts we know…nothing really separates family…a pickle loving family…

Cuz we go together like peas and carrots…Abbot and Costello…dill pickles and cream cheese…and if there’s anything that little gherkin of mine loves more than pickles…it’s cream cheese…

And this cream cheese of hers…loves her back…even more…
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And those daughters of mine…agree…

This husband and I…

Love to go to thrifting…not for things exactly…more for the experience…walk the aisles…gadgets evoking memories…doodads telling stories…

Stories of someone who loved them…teapots…dogs…piggy banks…clowns…and then sometimes those shelves…tell a different story…our story…a love story…

Been there done that…starting over again in our 50s…failing at finding our one and only…but yet there was hope…still believed in love…imagined it could happen…

Met on line…the algorithm thinking we were a match…the algorithm not wrong…and so the adventure began…dated three years…and then 8 years ago today…

Two cool cats…became us…

And so it is…in life…it’s never too late to start over…find what you’re looking for…

It’s never too late for grand adventures and days full of laughter…

It’s never too late to be respected…appreciated…cherished…loved…

It’s never too late to move to a new town…fall in love with cats…find humor in the ridiculous…

It’s never too late to live happily ever after…

Believe in love…believe in magic…believe in yourself…find your fairy tale…write your story…
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And that husband of mine…agrees…

This husband of mine said…

Let’s go to the fiesta…

And so we did…Almost Friday Fest held on Thursday…down by the River…been there before…knew what to expect…sit…relax…listen to music…chat with friends…catch up with family…

And then…what to my wondering eyes should appear…a panda…a giant panda…bobbing…weaving…buoyant almost…trying to navigate the heavy River breeze…

Have never seen anything like it…so joyful…humorous…ridiculously fun…fiesta goer me was in awe…

The music fest is always fun…but this guy…this big goofy bouncy guy stood out…took it up a notch…was the GOAT of entertainment…because it was so unexpected…because it was so delightful…

And so it is…in life…expect the unexpected…look for the delightful…find joy in the unusual…carpe diem…
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And this husband of mine…agrees…

This daughter of mine…

Started a new job recently working for Nebraska Athletics…needless to say she’s become a little more interested in sports…

Kind of funny how things work…Husker stuff suddenly showing up on an old gal’s Instagram…basketball…football…track…

Saw a photo of an athlete wearing a medallion on a chain…like a big medallion…a humungous medallion…a medallion of Barney the dinosaur from days gone by…

Those little girls of mine loved Barney…but not as much as that mother of theirs loved Barney…taught all the right things…beginning reading…socialization…music…

And here this athlete was wearing that favorite dinosaur proudly…didn’t know why at first…but was amused…intrigued…and just like that…one of us…who has never cared about college football…ever…like never ever…at the age of 63…

Became a Fangirl…a Husker Football Fangirl…actually watching the games…learning the names of the players…texting that daughter of mine after amazing touchdowns by that Barney wearing wide receiver of theirs…

And so it is…in life…you never know what might get that ball rolling…but when it does…it sure can be a lot of fun…
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And that daughter of mine…agrees…